I’ve grown up knowing that through Christ, all things are possible. We went to church at least 3 days a week. Sunday was obviously for Sunday school, then the sermon and we would go back for night service. Wednesday was choir practice, Friday was youth night and inevitably there would be another day of church or a conference to attend. Growing up it was hard to understand and wrap my mind around some of our pentecostal beliefs but as I grew up and made my way through the world I can say that I am very happy to have been raised the way I was.
There are so many times in my daily life that I will go back to something that I learned in my childhood. Church and god were our foundations and if anything ever went wrong, we would pray. Prayer changes things! I am a firm believer that the only reason I am still here is because I have a praying mother and grandmother amongst others who pray for me because they all know I need the help and prayers.
Whether it was driving at excessive speeds or ripping through the city on my downhill mountain bike, my next move could have likely lead to my last move. When I broke my back I was sitting in the rehab center one day and said to my Dad, “If only you knew all of the dumb sh*t that I’ve done, I cannot believe I got hurt at work, taking things seriously and not horsing around.” One thing I know and again it’s from the bible is that the rain falls on the just and the unjust. Simply put, life is not fair. When you come to grips with that and give up the “ Why me ?”victim mentality, is when your entire world can change. If you didn’t have that outlook in the first place you’re probably well on your way to impacting others in your own special way.
The amount of people, family and friends who visited and prayed over me and for me for hours and days on end will always be appreciated. After a while of prayers and physiotherapy, I realized that this is probably going to be my new normal. From the beginning I was doing and trying the majority of everything that I could to get myself back up on my feet but this is not what God had planned for me.
The mere fact that I am still alive is a testament to his mercy. I was leading a reckless life and was on my way to probably killing myself and worst case scenario, possibly someone else as well. People would ask me how I remained so positive and upbeat adjusting to my new normal and just knowing that I should be dead was enough to make me smile. Occasionally someone will walk up to me in the store and say something like…”You don’t look like you should be in that wheelchair” or “ Can I pray for you?” or a multitude of other very insensitive and ableist comments that fly out of people’s mouths. This makes these people seem uneducated, disconnected, and selfish amongst many other adjectives. These people consciously or subconsciously believe they are better than you simply because you have a disability. Please don’t be that person. Yes we all have some unconscious biases based on society’s perception of people but let’s set the record straight.
Having a disability undoubtedly makes day to day living a little more difficult. Not one disability is like the other. We all experience disability differently. This could be because of the nature of our disability or the barriers that are seemingly everywhere whether they be physical or attitudinal. The worst feeling is when people do not treat you as an equal or rather as a burden. Everyone of us with or without a disability does things differently. It could be at a slower or faster pace, a cleaner or messier way, with an assistive device or without one. The word individual was created for a reason and that’s so we can find the things in life that make us happy and become our true selves. Just because someone is in a different situation doesn’t mean you should feel sorry for them or pity them. It definitely does not help when you bend down and speak to someone like a child either. I could go on and on about the things that people with disabilities encounter on a daily basis just trying to live their lives. I think what I really want to say is be a good person. Don’t go out of your way to run backwards and hold the door for someone in a chair unless they ask or you can see that they are obviously seriously struggling. Even at that point you must ask “ How can I help you?” or “ “Do you need some help?” Never assume! You know what happens when you assume… “You make an ass out of you and me!” This is a conversation we will continue to have.
Would I like to walk again, to put it simply, yes. Will I walk again, I don’t know. Will I explore my options, most likely when I have enough money. With my faith in God and technology I do not see a reason I won’t be back up walking around at some point. Breaking my back has given me a new appreciation for life and the little things. Take time to stop and smell the roses. Take time to figure out who you are and how you will leave a legacy on this earth. The one quote that turned my life around was in the back of a 52’ trailer 38 degrees Celsius in the middle of July slinging tires at a warehouse in 2008.
It read “Aspire to inspire before you expire” and that is exactly what I intend to do.